Help Others Seek the Right Help: Ensure Your Resilience First-Aid Kit is Fully Stocked
Resilience skills and strategies can help ensure we grow and thrive in the face of adversity, recover to full strength, understand the root of problems, identify what we can control and set goals. If we have a solid understanding of how to maintain our own resilience, we can also use these skills and strategies to help others. But what happens when we encounter a situation that is beyond our training and capabilities, and we ask ourselves, “What do I do now,” “Are these issues outside of my lane” or “Which assets and resources are available for this person in need?”
Resilience First-Aid is a set of tools that answers the questions you might ask yourself in a tough situation when someone is experiencing issues that are outside of your area of expertise.
Resilience First-Aid helps you to recognize your limits and judge if you need to find support for an individual so they can get appropriate assistance.
Recognize when to call for support
Understand how to apply Resilience First-Aid by recognizing key indicators that someone needs a greater level of care than you alone can provide:
- Are problems significantly interfering with work, finances or the ability to get along with family and friends?
- Could problems be worsened by a lack of social support?
- Do you notice the taillight effect?
Here’s an example: My friend is engaging in self-destructive behavior but doesn’t recognize the behavior as a problem. She is drinking increasingly more to fall asleep at night, which causes her sleep to be less restorative. Because she’s not rested, she’s more anxious and impatient throughout the day; that makes it even more difficult to sleep! Like noticing a car with a broken taillight before the driver sees the problem, those of us around her can see the impact of the problem before she is aware.
Know where to call for support
When I recognize a need to connect my friend with additional help, I need to know what people and resources are available to provide the support needed. What are the resources on the installation or in the community?
- Military OneSource is a hub of programs, resources and tools available 24/7 to service members and Families and provides immediate connection to help if you identify that a friend is in crisis.
Know how to connect with support
Just because I recognize a need for greater support does not mean my friend will access resources. There can be internal barriers to seeking help that I can help my friend overcome:
- Inertia (inactivity or sluggishness)
Recognition of problems can feel overwhelming and lead to ruts and inaction. To suggest support such as, “Maybe you could talk to somebody…” likely won’t break through the barrier of inertia. A more impactful approach is to help my friend connect with a specific resource and a specific person, if possible. I can offer to go to the resource with my friend, or even sit with her while she makes a call. If my friend declines to access help at that time, I will follow up. Inertia didn’t develop overnight, and it might take time to overcome.
- Core values and core beliefs
Deeply held values and beliefs are at the core of the decisions we make and the actions we take. Sometimes, the same core values and beliefs that facilitate our perseverance and success can undermine resilience and prevent us from accepting help. To break through this barrier, I can anticipate the value or belief and reframe how it relates to seeking help. If my friend believes that accepting help is a sign of weakness, I can see that she values strength and wants to see herself as strong. I can reinforce this value by letting her know that she can stay strong with support. Keep your Resilience First-Aid kit stocked with coping strategies and knowledge of when, where, and how to call for more support when greater care is required.
Resources
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