5 Communication Strategies to Connect with Children

The ways we communicate with youth can have a lasting impact on their social and emotional development, as well as how they build and sustain relationships with others throughout their lives. We can communicate with children in intentional ways to get the most out of our conversations and interactions. Try using these five strategies to enhance your communication with children.

1. BUILD TRUST AND RAPPORT

  • Every interaction is an opportunity to get to know a child. The more time and effort you put into getting to know that child, the more you build a relationship of respect and trust.
  • Youth value knowing the “why” behind every decision. Therefore, it’s important to be deliberate with children in sharing the purpose for our decisions. Giving the “why” can be a great tool to motivate and build trust with children, leading to better communication and a stronger relationship.

2. EVERY INTERACTION IS A CLEAN SLATE

  • Children like to connect with adults through talk and play. This attempt at connection, from an adult’s perspective, can easily be misinterpreted as the child being annoying or disruptive. It is up to the adult to better control their own thoughts and emotions.
  • We can change our mindsets to perceive every interaction with a child as a fresh start. Don’t let any negative experiences from previous conversations get in the way of building rapport with a child.

3. MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU CARE

  • Children love to talk and share. When a child shares something with you, take time to ask questions that lead to depth. This process takes only 30 seconds, and can represent to the child that you care about their interests.
  • Get on the child’s level. Take a knee, crouch down, or sit with the child to convey through body language that you want to know more about their interests and care about what they’re excited about.
  • The conversation is all about the other person’s interests and can instantly strengthen your connection with that child.

4. BE CLEAR AND BRIEF WITH FEEDBACK

  • Children have short attention spans and a ton of energy. If you notice that a child needs to receive feedback or praise, take a maximum of 30 to 60 seconds. Be intentional in naming the specific behavior you observed in the child, be direct with what behavior you prefer to see and its importance, and then ask for a check-on-learning question.
    • Q: “Instead of getting upset after making a mistake, what can you do instead to better help the team?”
    • A: “We can take a deep breath and run back on defense.”

5. USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE

  • Society is changing for the better to respect how people identify themselves. As teachers, instructors, mentors and so forth, it is our duty to adapt and model the positive change we want to see in the world.
    • Use inclusive, gender-neutral language such as, “y’all,” “friends,” “everyone,” “folks,” “we,” “they/them” when addressing a group of individuals.

Children are always watching and mimicking adults. Model these five strategies to encourage the behaviors you want to see from a child.

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